how can you expect me to tell you anything when i can't even trust you?

again with the trust. i barely can trust anyone....not even my own fucking family.

fuck.....and other such explatives. i can probably count the people i trust on my fingers and toes.

tiana, mandy, heather, nghia, khai, cartier, and mel. thank god for them.

I don't know what's going on anymore.

I don't have any metaphores or similes to describe what's happening.

You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

OooOOOOoooo. This is good. Very good. *evil smile*....

          This blog, I suppose, is my "ventalation blog". When I'm in a funk or just really pissed off I'll write here because it seems most appropriate. I mean, who wants to see my angry things? Only those interested in them would come here. Otherwise, you'd go look at my normal other one. The one without the hectic trails I go throught every day. Now for my rant...

            I'm like the walking contradiction of my mother's expectations. I just finished writing a 10 page report, in less than 2 hours and I was pretty proud of myself. But then she starts yelling about the dishes, how she deserves a break when she gets home. Then I realize that she's not even WASHING the dishes, because if she was, they'd be clean. She was just mindlessly and senselessly scrubbing away at them, not even cleaning them. I pointed this out, and she got all "huffy" and started to rag on me. So in order to eat my dinner (it was 12:30 am) in peace, I actually had to put on my earphones to block her out. How irritating. Then, when I began to wash the dishes once again, I mentioned that my friend Jay has a moped and that I would like one as well. This made her extremely angry and she started spouting off all her expectations of me going to college, etc and she wouldn't be able to pay for this if I was in the hospital. I pointed out that I want to go to an out-of-state college, which she refused to pay for, and she said, "Well I'm going to try my best!" I also pointed out that she surfed, mountain climbed, and skied during her younger years, and wasn't that pretty risky? Then she said, "Well my parents never paid for my college education." What does this have to do with getting a moped?

        Yep....I can see it now. Lori leading a totally secret life without her mother knowing at all. Then when I'm grown up, and I'm with the big lesbiiiiiiian family and the moped, going to college in California or somewhere equally exciting, and my mom will wonder what happened. I will tell her, "You should have stopped pretending you had so much control of my life when you didn't. You should have paid attention to what I wanted, did, and WILL DO in my life instead of thinking that I'd follow your expectatons. I want to adopt a kid, have puppies, drive a moped or motorcycle, and be like Margaret Cho? ^_^ All except that last one. But she's really cool. And I'd wash the dishes for real.
---
        But with all this set aside.....I've had lots of fun. Hanging out with Mixie, fun fun at the bus stop, and then Heather, Mixie, Ziggy, and Jay the next day. Much fun. ^_^ Then I saw Mixie a lot today which made me mucho happy and we went to Boarders. We read, "So You Wanna Be a Lesbian?" Hehe. That's right.

Chinese food! aaaaaaaand Nintendo! ^_^

 

 

I feel like I can relate to this song....greeeat I'm turning into Kevin and posting lyrics up just like him. Well Dashboard can say things better than I can. This song gets describes almost EXCACTLY what happened last night....but some parts didn't happen. Like the "getting some" part. 0_o But everthing else....almost just like last night. And its true, last night was, hands down....

the best night I can remember. ^_^

Lyrics. Read em! Very meaningful and humerous.
- - -

Wow! Yesterday was amazing. My friends got together and gave me the best birthday celebration that I've ever had. I sort of suspected it at first, because I thought it was odd. Odd that Maxine was spontaneously baking cakes and how everyone seemed to be sneaking around doing stuff when I wasn't around. The whispering made me suspicious as well. But it was still surprising when I walked into Brians and all these people mobbed me and dragged me outside. Then they proceeded to all exit Brians and surrond me!

     This is when they bought out the cakes and presents. Me, standing there amists 15-20-odd people, shocked, in the middle of urban parking lot of Brians. I felt dizzy and confuse-ed because I didn't know that THIS many people could possibly be there to celebrate my birthday.

        Connie, Camille, Sharon, Kevin, Amanda panda, Tiana, Aaron, Maxine, Daniel (kittybutt), Heather, Jayjay, Moses, Clint, Wendy, Michael-weenie, Ziggy, Arlene, Dexie, Nicole, Dante, Pricilla, Rob, Carmen, and arriving later, Mandy and Cartier. This is a lot of people. This makes Lori a very happy and lucky girl!

         A fun day full of whipped cream and cake fights and crazy Brians antics. Lots of great gifts as well, although I rather all these people hadn't bought me gifts... everyone keeps asking if I had fun, and my answer is, and always will be.....

HECK YEAH!

Well I'm off. I bought the Hot Hot Heat album and plan to buy the new Dashboard Confessional.....NFG tomorrow! ^_^ ^_^

One more thing.....

I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! Sooooooooo....

Please call me?
 

Well I'll be posting on here for now since xanga is down and I don't trust it.